Join the League of Luxurious Delusionists (Membership Includes Glitter)

You ever have one of those Mondays where the world feels a little dull?
Where your inbox is threatening violence and your sock has betrayed you?

Good. That’s the perfect time to engage in a little luxurious delusion.

The League of Luxurious Delusionists invites you to elevate the ordinary to the absurd. All you need is a little imagination, a whiff of enchantment, and a deeply committed belief that your moisturizer is infused with the tears of celestial beings.

5 Preposterous Ways to Glamify Your Monday:

1. Narrate your day like a royal memoir.
“You’ll never believe what I endured at dawn (it was email).”

2. Do one routine activity like it’s being filmed for a fantasy makeover montage.
Applying lotion? Cue the slow motion and twinkling background music.

3. Give your morning drink a title.
Not “coffee.” No. “The Sacred Brew of Divine Sanity.”

4. Assign status titles to your products.
That’s not just soap. It’s The Blessed Bar of Rejuvenation and Power.

5. Make indulgence your duty.
Because if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you lead your imaginary queendom properly?

Ready to step into your royal nonsense with confidence?
I’ve got shimmering potions, bewitching butters, and joyful chaos bottled up and waiting for you at Soap Witch Crafts.

Even if the world doesn’t recognize your reign, I do.