Let Go of the Need for Control (The Universe Is Not a Spreadsheet)

There are days when life feels so chaotic that my brain decides the solution is control.

Control the schedule.
Control the outcome.
Control the people.

Because obviously if everyone would just follow the plan I made in my head at 2 a.m., I could finally relax.

Except… that has never worked. Not once.

Control gives me a false sense of security. It pretends to be a safety net, but the moment life does something unexpected—which is constantly—it disappears and leaves me staring at the ceiling wondering why I thought I could manage everything in the first place.

The more tightly I grip, the more anxious I feel. The more I try to force certainty, the more frustrated I become when things shift, change, or completely ignore my intentions.

Unacceptable behavior, honestly.

What actually helps me is this: I make a plan, and then I remember that the plan is not carved into stone tablets. I allow room for detours. I practice trusting myself instead of outcomes. I stop trying to manage people like they’re malfunctioning appliances.

Below are a few playful reminders I return to when my inner control goblin gets loud.

🌿 Mindsets for Releasing Control Without Losing It Entirely

• Control is not the same as safety.
It just feels convincing.

• Change is not a failure of planning.
It’s life doing life things.

• I don’t need certainty to be okay.
I need trust—in myself.

• Other people are not mine to manage.
A shocking revelation.

🕯️ Gentle (and Slightly Silly) Practices for Letting Go

• Make the plan, then loosen it.
I hold it lightly, like a suggestion.

• Ask, “Can I handle this if it changes?”
The answer is almost always yes.

• Do one good-feeling thing on purpose.
Comfort tells my nervous system to calm down.

• Laugh when control slips.
Sometimes that’s the spell.

Letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up. It means trusting that I can adapt, pivot, and survive the plot twists without micromanaging the universe.

Life can still be great.
Even when it’s messy.
Even when it’s unpredictable.
Especially when I stop fighting it.