Day Two of the Sale and I’m Still Not Becoming a New Person

Day Two of the Sale and I’m Still Not Becoming a New Person

An update no one asked for, but everyone deserves

It is Day Two of launching two brand-new soaps, and I regret to inform you that I have still not reinvented myself.

I did not wake up glowing with purpose.
I did not establish a flawless morning routine.
I did not suddenly crave discipline.

What I did do was take a shower, laugh at my own soap labels, and feel extremely pleased with that decision.

Honestly?
That feels like progress.

The Myth of the January Makeover

January arrives every year with the same aggressive energy.

It wants you to:

  • optimize your life

  • fix your habits

  • become a better version of yourself immediately

  • preferably before you’ve finished your coffee

And I would like to formally say: no thank you.

I am not broken.
You are not broken.
We are simply humans exiting a year and entering another one with our personalities intact.

So instead of launching resolutions, I launched soaps.

One Soap for Chaos, One Soap for Comfort

Because if we’re being honest, most days require both.

Monstrous Mayhem – Black Sea

This is the soap for when you want to feel:

  • powerful in your own shower

  • slightly dangerous (but clean)

  • like you could survive a dragon encounter or at least a long email

It’s bold, moody, and dramatic in a way that feels extremely validating.

Expert Vocalist – Vanilla Dreams

This soap believes in you.

It believes in:

  • your shower concerts

  • your car-singing confidence

  • your right to hum loudly without apology

It’s creamy, cozy, and soft in the way that makes you exhale without realizing you were holding your breath.

Why These Soaps Make Sense Together

Because life is rarely one note.

Some days you need to feel unstoppable.
Some days you need to feel soothed.
Most days, you need a little of both.

Launching these soaps together wasn’t a strategy — it was honesty.

They represent the exact energy I’m choosing this year:

  • chaos, but make it fun

  • comfort, without guilt

  • joy, without a productivity requirement

Yes, They’re Still on Sale (Because We’re Being Chill About It)

Both soaps are still 20% off through Saturday, January 3rd.

Not as a countdown panic.
Not as a “last chance” siren.

Just a gentle bonus if you decide that starting the year with something enjoyable sounds like a good idea.

If you grab one — wonderful.
If you grab both — iconic.
If you simply enjoy knowing that soap can be silly and comforting at the same time — I fully support that.

A Completely Optional Closing Thought

You do not need a new personality this year.

You do not need to hustle your way into happiness.
You do not need to punish yourself into growth.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is choose something small that makes you smile — like a ridiculous bar of soap that turns your shower into a moment of delight.

That’s the energy.
That’s the plan.
That’s Day Two.

Warm bubbles and zero self-improvement agendas,
— The Soap Witch 🧼✨

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